the unbearable necessity of living

by Arran James

search for hidden meaning
search object keep awake
and its too real,
she accused.
instead, none of this.
no obscurity? just the desire
to find a depth to which
to anchor
(bail out this sinking ship
of man)
an electricity crackles
lightening in a glasshouse
short circuit in a neurology
necrosis touches everything;
nothing means anything
nothing means everything.
no gnosis. no grand reveal.
interminable assumptions,
it’s evolution sweetness,
the brain just ticking over
until one day the lights go out
and there is nothing there
behind the eyes.
my love, i am a shipwreck now
and now i am the sun
this ‘i am’ is an empty space
a no-man’s land terrain.
i try and fail. again. again.
there is no other option,
having refused to give in.