wandering

by Arran James

breakfast in the boutique cafe
sitting watching her fondle him
stroking his arm
her belly swollen with something new
something to argue about names for
to pay attention to designation
as if
a rose by any other name
might turn out psychopathic or an imbecile
and i’m chewing seeds
taking measured sips of coffee
a voyeur soaking up the radiation
of their love
with thoughts of sickness and mutation

and walking through the sunlight
the streets awash with too much action
sending spikes of nervousness through me
a brain dictated by a need for calm
already all the more acute
tinged maybe
i buy a book on free will
and settle for another coffee
in another cafe

and i wait and i wait
understanding
thinking up the reasons why
leafing without reading
no longer able to put up defences
as the clouds above roll in
occluding the sky
sinking deep
letting them fill my chemistry
with the waiting rains to come

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