feeling good

by Arran James

walk a while with me 


would you go with me
somewhere i don’t understand
or somehow quite believe?

sitting in the sun
my t-shirt sticking to my
sodden skin as my gums
and lungs and the soles of my feet
started singing.

i’ve been travelling,
i said to my friend while we
sat in the shade of a rooted tree,
without a sense of direction
without a sense of geography
going as the land lies
where the well worn paths
tread by other take me
in that line of least resistance.

and we sat there talking
trying to catch our runaway breath
looking on at the other
tennis players, at how much stronger
and how much better. we
were sipping beer
and sharing memories, feeling
like we’d earned a respite
from the demands of all this living,
and it felt good to me.

and i looked down at myself
as if from a great way up and saw
that all of this is wonderful
that all of this is raw. but i still
have that sense of lacking
some intensity, the sense that has
haunted me since before i
was a man. but still,

felt good to me
as i looked around
at all of the discarded maps
and decided that
the path was a
good place to
start from

but if i’m going to take
my leave someday of all this
familiarity and find that
unmapped somewhere i couldn’t name

would you go with me
somewhere i don’t understand
or somehow quite believe?

where this joy i feel right now
would spring up from the earth
and would spread across the sky
becoming the air that we
would breathe
until when we finally fall silent
and stay still. until then
come and make new maps
with me of places we don’t
understand and can’t quite believe.